May 2, 2017
I’m struggling. I’ll be the first to admit this. I either have too much or not enough going on in my life. Too much causes stress, anger, and an overwhelming amount of other emotions I don’t know how to control. Not enough causes stress, anger, and an overwhelming amount of other emotions I don’t know how to control. Notice something? Yeah, I’m struggling.
I get caught up in my thoughts. Stuck on an idea that is irrational. For whatever reason I can’t let go of it. I tell myself I am healthy, I am safe, I am loved. These are my affirmations given to me by my mom. But, the more I tell myself, the harder time I have believing myself. It feels like a never ending cycle.
I want to know that I am okay. I don’t feel okay. What does it even mean to be okay?
I’m trying. I’m struggling, but hey, I’m trying. I’ve got a strong support system who wants to help me, who encourages me, who is there for me. I still feel alone. It’s only me and my thoughts, and they aren’t always the best company.
I need to get out of this town.
Living life struggling isn’t easy, it isn’t fun, it isn’t how life is meant to be lived. I’m supposed to be having the time of my life. I want to be as happy as the girl in the picture looks. So that’s what I’m working on, getting back that girl.